1. As though he has just won the Olympic Gold in shooting, my three year old gleefully announces from the toilet, loud enough for the neighbours to hear, “MUMMYYYY, POTTY CAME!!! Whether it is creating a mess with a ball of atta-dough, reading a storybook with me, waving at the garbage truck driver driving past our house, he finds pleasure, even thrill in the smallest things. As adults, we attach happiness to such big goals (when I publish a book, when I reach pre-pregnancy weight, when I travel to my favourite places), that the glimmers of joy that appear on a daily basis seem to lose their shine. After following my son’s happiness cues, I really try to focus on the small pleasures now–neighbour sent home-made cake (YAY!), the yellow-bells in my garden bloomed (UNBELIEVABLE!), two people liked my blog (HALLELUJAH!)
2. My three year old celebrates his tiniest achievements. He is confident, unself-conscious and always delighted with what he accomplishes and achieves.
“Mummy, see I don’t have to tip-toe anymore to reach the table!”
“I can say all the numbers from 1 to 10, Mummy. I am SO smart.”
And failure? Failure doesn’t faze him at all. I have never heard him beat himself up when he coloured outside the lines, or when he wasn’t able to write ‘C’ correctly. Perhaps, with his deep internal and untarnished wisdom, he allows himself the grace that he will do better next time.
3. I have never heard my three year old say, “Day before yesterday, mummy forgot that I had art class, so I have every right to not go to art class this week” or “Vihaan didn’t invite me to his birthday party, so mummy please don’t invite him to mine.” Those are the calculations of adults. Three year olds just don’t know how to hold grudges. And oh, how generously, unconditionally and whole-heartedly they love! He showers as much love to Sparkly, his favourite unicorn soft toy as he does to his best friend in the park. He kisses Naani over the phone, hugs his Papa many times a day and tells me before bedtime, “Mummy, I love you two hundred and eighty times. That’s a VERY big number, right Mummy?” In his little person, there is no bitterness, only love.
4. He is fully attentive to everything he does. If he is playing with a shoelace, he is only playing with a shoelace. He is not worrying about things like “What if Mummy forces me to have paalak for lunch,” or “If only I had not drawn that monster with crayons on Mummy’s newly painted wall…,” He remains focused, present and attentive to the task at hand. Isn’t that what all the spiritual gurus whether it is Sadhguru or Eckhart Tolle teach us? That all we have to do is be in the here and now. And because a child is so focused in the moment, he is never in a hurry to get things done. He enjoys all of his moments because he is not rushing to get to the next better, more important, more exciting thing. We could argue that as adults we just don’t have the leisure of time, but what I am trying to do after seeing the little guy in action is to do less with more focus.
5. I love that my son communicates honestly, expresses his likes and dislikes clearly and asks unapologetically for what he wants. Because he is not yet burdened by stereotypes, parental expectations, and public approval, he is not afraid to wear his pink shirt, demand a unicorn-themed birthday cake, and declare fearlessly, “Mummy, I only like to play with girls because girls are sooo pretty!” Some day he wants to be a soldier, the next day he wants to be a spaceman (he can’t pronounce ‘astronaut’ yet), and today, he announced that he doesn’t want to be anything at all. He thinks everything is possible, everything is within reach and most importantly, that he deserves to get what he wants. We become adults, are afraid to express our true want and desires, and then go to entrepreneurship seminars and expensive life coaches who teach us from their lecterns, “Be yourself! Ask for what you want!”
We climb mountains, go to ashrams, download meditation apps seeking spiritual enlightenment. But our children teach us the most important life lessons—to love ourselves and others, to pay attention, to be confident in ourselves and to immerse ourselves in the simple joys of life. Children come wired with inherent life-wisdom that adults forget along the way, and then spend their entire adulthood trying to unlearn. After watching my child closely, I realised that the most accomplished spiritual practitioner lives in my home. Perhaps, I don’t pay enough attention to what he is teaching me because he is less than 100 centimeters tall and likes to stick glitter glue on my favourite bedsheet.
***THE END***
P.S. Thank you for reading!
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